Monday, 12 December 2011
Santa Wants a Ho
A few years ago an attempt was made in Australia to stop Santa Claus giving his jolly Ho, Ho, Ho greeting to children, substituting Ha, Ha, Ha in its place, anodyne and wholly (!) without any kind of character or provenance. Why? Because ho is slang in America for, well, a ho!
That’s just the sort of thing that would be bound to upset every Australian girl and boy, just as it annoyed every Australian parent, many of whom were discovering for the first time what a ho was and what the jolly old, red-nosed (possible alcohol problem?) fellow was calling for.
Generally speaking Santa is a disreputable old man, don’t you agree? All parents should be warned against this December interloper. After all, with school teachers being subject to levels of background scrutiny that was formerly reserved for candidates for senior office, with schools being turned into mini-prisons, we still give this unvetted stranger completely free range, to come, go and do as he will.
Every alarm bell should be ringing over the actions of this ho-monger. Every year he commits an act of mass breaking and entering unparalleled in the history of crime. More worrying still, he urges children to be ‘good for Santa’, to be good boys and girls, seduced by promises of gifts. What’s his motive here?
Here we have a stranger, coming silently in the night, creeping into the bedrooms of children with material inducements; just how much more of this are we prepared to take? Why are questions not being asked? Are social service departments not concerned? Do something, before it’s too late! Oops, sorry, it is too late; centuries too late.
Alas, we live in a humourless age. I’m tempted to write a journal message to the future, in the style of Winston Smith from Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, a greeting to a hoped for time, a time free from the absurdity of Big Nanny and Political Correctness. Will such a time ever come? I have a feeling that things will get worse before they get worse still.
The attack on Christmas and the traditions associated with Christmas is as predictable and relentless as the season itself. We’ve seen it all here in England, with one local authority substituting a ghastly ‘Winterval’, and another referring to Christmas lights as ‘Luminos’, all to avoid offending those capable of taking offence.
The disease is spreading by degrees. This year a school in Stockton, California is reported to have placed an interdict on classroom displays of Santas, Christmas Trees and even Poinsettia plants for fear of upsetting people of other faiths. Bah! Humbug!
I’m sure there lots of other tiresome examples, of initiatives thought up by tedious people, the thought police of the PC brigade who would treat us all as infants. I imagine these joyless, sour and literal-minded types were just bad girls and boys in the past, those who never, ever got presents from Santa. Christmas is in the winter of their discontent. They want the world to be like Narnia, a place where it is always winter and never Christmas.
Meanwhile the old fellow is going quietly mad, locked away in the North Pole, not much given to ho ho ho-ing or even ha ha ha-ing. Maybe he should have another look at his contract, to check if there really is a sanity clause.
Posted by Anastasia F-B at 15:41
Labels: christmas, political correctness
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. . . The controversy in Australia sounds apocryphal to me to me, Ana, and certainly the phrase "alcohol problem" is an oxymoron in Australian, the land of the 18 hour lunch . . . !ReplyDelete
Hehehehe . . . no danger of Santa losing his grip on the season here on the far side of the Atlantic. But I celebrate the winter solstice and the turn of the year without feeling the need to invoke the scarlet elf or that strange Jewish dude who's birthday it ain't.ReplyDelete
Personally, I don't care much for Christmas nowadays, but I'm honest enough to admit that it was a magical time when I was a child, unlike the killjoys of whom you speak, who probably don't enjoy Christmas themselves and are determined to ensure that no one else does either.ReplyDelete
I want a Ho for christmass ! ( Yule )ReplyDelete
DEC 16 BOYCOTT YOU TUBE DAY.ReplyDelete
Great post, Ana. Let the purveyors of PC say, "Bah, humbug." I say, Merry Christmas to you and yours.ReplyDelete
Agh, put that way it all sounds so sinister, Ana!ReplyDelete
I do wonder how I ever survived the experience. and moreover, how could I possibly have inflicted this dreadfulness on my poor innocent children? Sob!
Glad to see you are back safely from your travels!
Agh, what a dreadful state of affairs, and to think I inflicted this creature on my innocent children. I blame it on my parents, naturally!ReplyDelete
Good to see you back safely from your travels, Ana. :)
PS. I seem to be having an identity crisis, I've lost one comment, but I thought I'd try again.
Araminta, well that's who I think I am, anyway.
Chris, so far as I can tell it did happen, reported in the Daily Telegraph in November 2007. A recruitment firm called Westaff, which supplies hundreds of Santas to stores across the country, told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and was derogatory to women. They backed down after the outcry.ReplyDelete
Calvin, you and me both. You should know, though (you probably do), that Santa is an avatar of Odin. :-)ReplyDelete
Anthony, well, if you are a good boy, who knows? :-)ReplyDelete
I've made a note of the YouTube date. It's Friday. I boycott everything on Fridays, apart from my social life!
Calvin, OMG, naked Santas!ReplyDelete
Bob, and I return the greeting four score. A very Merry Christmas. :-)ReplyDelete
Araminta, as you see, I got both! Thank you and, as always, it's a pleasure to see you. :-)ReplyDelete
Dennis, I'm so sorry; I overlooked your comment! You are absolutely right. These people are the new puritans. Incidentally, there is a good article in the Christmas issue of the BBC History Magazine on the attempts by their seventeenth century predecessors to abolish Christmas. :-)ReplyDelete
My family's Catholic church dropped the "Santa is a Viking demon' bomb last week. Damned clergy wants to leave the corruption of the young to themselves.ReplyDelete
No, bad to the bone! Nephilim DNA!ReplyDelete
Hey, Coll, it's lovely to see you! How are things with you? Do have a super, Viking, Yule. :-)ReplyDelete
Oh, Anthony, there's always hope. :-)ReplyDelete
Yes, I hear Odin loves his Chips Ahoy. Passed another semester. Back at the museum. All is well :-) XXXReplyDelete
Very funny. I remember this story--political correctness run amok--ridiculous. Hoes hoes hoes, merry xxxmas!ReplyDelete
Coll, I'm so glad to hear that. :-)ReplyDelete
Thanks, Kooz. Merry Christmas to you to and Ho! Ho! Ho! :-)ReplyDelete